Recently I've had an agent request a partial for, No Other, and I've also had a small publisher request the manuscript of my smaller project, The Orphan's Home. This is exciting stuff, right? It is, but it's testing too. And I'm not too impressed with what it's revealed about me; first, I'm extremely impatient; and second, I'm a whimp. A scaredy, little fraidy cat whimp. All day I'm telling myself, "She primarily works with published writers, no way she's gonna take a risk on puny, untalented me." Or, "The main conflict is between the MC and himself, not between the two MC's, like their guidelines stated. They're not gonna take it."
Yes...whine...whine...whine. Enough already!
You know what I'm most scared of? Hope. I'm terrified that if I let myself believe it could happen, being told it won't will hurt all the more. Might as well torture myself ahead of time. It's insane. It's stupid, and it's a waste of energy.
So, tonight as I confess this crazy state of mind I've dwelt in for all of two weeks, the Lord cradles me in His arms, and reminds me of an unfailing hope - a hope that will never disappoint. And strangely enough, He whispers the same verse He gave me for my book. While the words are the same, it's meaning has an entirely different application--one meant for me, at this very moment.
Psalms 146:4-6
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— the LORD, who remains faithful forever.
What it means to you may be a little different, but it's still truth.
Thank you, Lord.
The Story Behind My Blog's Title
Why is my blog named "My Father's Oldsmobile"? Click on the car and find out.
I love this post! Thanks for the scripture. I've been where you are now, and I wish you all the luck in the world. Prayers, too! And remember, even if the partials are rejected, you are one step closer. That's saying a lot!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lazy Writer. I appreciate the prayers. VERY MUCH! I didn't realize how hard this would be emotionally. I know it's part of the process though, so I'd better get used to it. God is good, and He gives me a shaking when I get too wound up--brings me back to focus.
ReplyDeleteWow we're so similar it's scary! Good luck on the partial and full, how exciting is that? I had to also comment on you bio, I absolutely LOOOOOVE the Mark of the Lon series by Francine Rivers! I loved Redeeming love and am now chugging through the women of faith series.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate, Shawna.
ReplyDelete"You know what I'm most scared of? Hope. I'm terrified that if I let myself believe it could happen, being told it won't will hurt all the more."
Very inspiring post!